


Charm It or Hex It

by JosephineStone



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: H/D Glompfest, M/M, Technology Mixing With Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 22:41:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JosephineStone/pseuds/JosephineStone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is on one of Rose’s favorite television shows, so they watch it together as a family.</p><p><b>Beta:</b> <span class="ljuser i-ljuser"><a class="i-ljuser-profile" href="http://eidheann-writes.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://eidheann-writes.livejournal.com/"><b>eidheann_writes</b></a></span><br/><b>Glomp For:</b> <span class="ljuser i-ljuser"></span><a class="i-ljuser-profile" href="http://golden-snitch12.livejournal.com/profile"><img class="i-ljuser-userhead"/></a><a class="i-ljuser-username" href="http://golden-snitch12.livejournal.com/"></a><b>golden_snitch12</b><br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Charm It or Hex It

  
‘Mum,’ Rose called from the living room. ‘It’s on, hurry up!’

Hermione, soon followed by Ron, came and joined Rose on the couch just as Blaise Zabini's monologue began:

Welcome to Charm It or Hex It: Celebrity Edition!

Harry Potter inherited an older three story home that he has been living in for the last five years. With his busy schedule for Auror training and his volunteer work with orphans, he hasn’t made much progress on the renovation projects he has started. So off and on for the last year he began looking for a new home, but he is still uncertain whether he wants to give up on his current place or not.

Hermione ringed her hands nervous for Harry, even though she knew what Harry had chosen. The television showed rooms torn apart—though Hermione never believed it was due to Harry renovating it—all the windows blocked by dark curtains and Mrs Black’s painting still covered to keep her from shrieking.

Pansy Parkinson appeared on the screen walking through Grimmauld Place’s kitchen. ‘Harry doesn’t need to move, he doesn’t want to move. He just needs his home to work for him, and I’m going to turn this one into more than he ever dreamed it could be.’

‘This place needs far too much work and is set up for a family not a single man. Even with Pansy’s changes it will still be three stories of broken up rooms and wasted space. I’ll find Harry the perfect place—’ Draco pulled back a curtain and a rat ran across the room. ‘With more light and less pests.’

Rose squealed with excitement as Malfoy and Parkinson met at the foot of the stairs.

‘You’ve already seen it,’ Ron said. ‘What so exciting about it?’

‘I’ve seen his house, not all the ones Uncle Harry didn’t chose. Plus, Uncle Harry is on the telly. I’ve never known anyone on the telly before.’

Ron’s eyes widened as he shared a look with Hermione, who simply shook her head at them both. They didn’t tell their children their own story yet. They’d noticed years before that people would stare at them, but Ron blamed it on older folks being a bit mad.  
Harry said little about what it had been like to work with Parkinson and Malfoy, who bickered on the screen about who would win and the obvious better choice Harry had by going with their side. Hermione had only watched the show in passing before, but Rose loved it.

It was the first wizarding show to air. Malfoy had been sentenced with community service for six months working with Muggle elderly, and Hermione could only imagine he got the idea from there. The only thing magical about the show was the people it showcased and how the work was accomplish, but they showed very little of that part. It worked in the same odd way the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron worked. Rose’s friend from next door would sit right there and not notice the men behind Parkinson flicking their wands to paint or break down a wall, the few times they showed it. They had to be looking for it or it wasn’t there at all. She thought nothing of the cultural references that made no sense to her.

Hugo ran in just as Harry came on the screen. ‘Did I miss anything? I lost track of time.’

‘No,’ Rose said as she gestured for her brother to sit down.

‘Well, um.’ Harry blushed and tried to flatten his hair. ‘I think my problem is that I really have no idea what I want. I don’t have an area that I’m in love with, and I don’t care much about being close to work or not. Budget wise, I’m willing to spend how much it takes. Money isn’t really an issue.’

Both Parkinson and Malfoy’s faces were blank, and as the silence stretch Hermione realised they were in shock. Ron burst out laughing beside her, then said, ‘Oh, Merlin. Their faces—no wonder they both came around asking us questions about him.’

Hermione felt a twinge of guilt for how they had treated them. Of course Harry had been no help. He’d driven everyone mad with his indecisiveness. He agreed with everyone’s opinions, but had none of his own.

Rose turned and gave them a funny look. ‘Is Uncle Harry rich?’

‘He has more money than he knows what to do with, that’s for sure.’

She turned back to the screen with a wondering look still about her. Parkinson talked about her plans. With no budget restrictions the first thing to do was to gut the house and get rid of all the pest, then fix any problems they ran into on the way. Which were a lot: being unable to remove Mrs Black from the wall, leaks in the basements, boggarts, and a shifting room that refused to stay in place long enough to be gutted. Hermione was glad she had decided not to let Rose’s friend Emily watch this particular show with them. How much could she possibly overlook?

Malfoy brought Harry to the first house. It was beautiful with a nice big garden in the front and warm entryway. It reminded Hermione of a smaller, more kept up version of the Burrow. She looked to see Ron frown at the screen. Malfoy must have visited his home. He might not have knocked on the front door, but he looked around the outside.

‘Oh, I love this.’ Harry smiled. ‘What is that smell?’

‘I’m not sure, but we can ask the owners.’

There was a huge stonework fireplace and they had the area around it filled with oversized leather furniture. Everything was in creams, browns, and reds. Harry’s eyes lit up each time he walked into a new room as he followed Malfoy around the house. The kitchen was massive with recycled glass countertops, stainless steal appliances, and an isle with a bar one side and a dishwasher on the other.

‘Can’t you just see yourself cooking in this kitchen,’ Malfoy said. ‘The flow is perfect and you have plenty of counter space and storage.’

Harry nodded, but said nothing.

‘Well, I can see it.’

Harry blushed and looked away from him towards a spiral staircase in the middle of the house. It wasn’t boxed in, but its own statement piece in the same walnut that covered the floors throughout the whole downstairs. Upstairs were the bedrooms. Though the downstairs was open the sloped roof and small rooms upstairs showed how small the house truly was. Harry’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes once they were upstairs. The master had a beautiful view of the back garden, and was the size of both the smaller bedrooms put together.

‘It is a bit small.’

‘You are a single man without any children. You’re just used to having much more space than you need. Doesn’t this just feel like home?’

Harry lost his smile, but to Hermione’s surprise he didn’t glare at Malfoy. ‘I don’t plan on being single and childless forever.’

‘Now that is a completely different market. Why don’t we head back to your house and see how Pansy’s doing? I’m sure she’ll love this bit of information for what she plans on doing to your house.’

‘I’m glad he didn’t like one,’ Hugo said. ‘There’d be barely enough room for us as it is, there’d be no room if he had kids too.’

Rose nodded her agreement from beside him. ‘I loved the kitchen though. The countertops were beautiful and the staircase.’ Rose gave a wistful sigh.

Harry and Malfoy walked around the gutted house and Harry was in slight awe at the sight. It was such a difference. Parkinson took down the wall that held Mrs Black’s portrait, because they couldn’t get it off of it. The space then looked much like the house they just left. A big wide open space that she’d get fix however she wanted.

‘Ah, children.’ Parkinson’s eyes lit up at the new information. It would obviously help her figure out how to design the house. ‘How many children would you like to have?’

Malfoy glared at her and she winked back at him.

‘I love their play fighting,’ Rose said.

‘Uh, I don’t know two or three? And I obviously need a few guest rooms for when my friends visit with their kids.’

‘Tell me about your friends’ kids.’ Parkinson was posed ready to take notes that would help her, her expression was already calculating.

‘They have a girl and a boy who are ten and eight. And they are typical children. Rose loves to read and Hugo loves to garden.’ Harry looked towards the door that lead outside. ‘I’ve kept meaning to clean up the garden, but I haven’t found the time.’

‘I can take care of that, you boys go on to your next house. Let me get some work done here.’  
One obvious difference between the Muggle and magical versions of the show were the time frames. Parkinson and Malfoy took only one day to find their customer the perfect house or make the one the already owned perfect for them.

‘I’m surprised you told her that,’ Harry said, ‘wouldn’t it give you an advantage?’

‘It would be cheating, and Pansy and I respect each other too much for that. Besides, I feel I already lost this one.’

‘How is that?’

‘Moving can be a hassle and I’d have to find something that is going to beat Pansy’s designs. She is the best designer in England. That isn’t an easy task even when she has a budget restricting her talent. You’ve said that everyone was tired of working with you, but this isn’t because you’re picky and find fault in every place you look. That’s easy to fix, especially since we have no budget to follow. It’s because you like everything, but love nothing. If you don’t love the house, then you have no reason to leave the one you’re in. Picking the perfect house is like falling in love. You can’t settle for it, you have to be swept away by it.’

Ron snorted and rolled his eyes.

Harry bit his lip and smiled. ‘I’ve never had much luck in the falling in love departement either, obviously.’

‘Oh, I’m sure you have no trouble finding girls that are interested—though that’s the problem, isn’t it? Plenty of options, but they’d all be settling. How lucky are you?’

‘I’m not interested in girls, but I see your point; although, I don’t really see it as lucky.’

‘Potter—Harry,’ Malfoy corrected himself and put back on his show voice, ‘when I said “all relevant information” how is it that none of this came up then?’

‘I didn’t really think about it.’ Harry shrugged. ‘How is being gay relevant?’

‘It helps me pick neighborhoods.’

Harry’s eyes narrowed at that, but Malfoy missed it as his back faced Harry and he spoke to the camera. ‘I’m going to do things a bit differently this episode. Since we have so few things to look for, we’re going to go to a lot of houses.’ Malfoy smirked and then a montage started. They saw kitchen after kitchen, with the last one being designed in a circle in the middle of the main floor, and Harry said, ‘Now this is a kitchen.’

Then small dark livingrooms, open bright livingrooms, all with fireplaces, until Malfoy gathered Harry’s taste on them.

Master bedrooms that had skylights or were all windows, with master suites or built in offices. And bathrooms. Most with jacuzzi tubs and separate showers. Most were old places remodelled new. Malfoy never mentioned the price and Harry never asked.

They were in a flat that looked out over London as Malfoy pointed out one of his favourite gay bars, and Harry blushed. Hermione couldn’t imagine Harry in a gay bar. He’d feel too uncomfortable. Malfoy offer to take Harry sometime. Harry nodded his agreement and Ron groaned.

‘What?’

‘I don’t want to have be friendly with Malfoy.’

‘Plan on going to a lot of gay bars with Harry?’

‘No, but you think Harry will leave it to just going to bars? He’s too nice, he’ll want Malfoy to feel included.’

Hermione laughed. ‘I doubt that. He wouldn’t want to make us feel uncomfortable. Beside this was filmed almost two months ago, I’m sure they’ve been out by now and he hasn’t said a word to us about it. I think you’re safe from having to treat Malfoy like a best mate.’

Malfoy stood in the kitchen, his arms resting on the granite countertops, waiting for Harry’s response to the flat.

At his “it’s nice” Malfoy deflated.

‘You’re hopeless.’ Malfoy shook his head. ‘I’m going to regret this, I know I will, but I have one more place to show you before we head back to Pansy.’

Rose squealed with excitement. ‘The last house is always the best.’

‘Not always. Plenty of people pick the first house they see. There were many perfect options. Which one did you like the best?’

‘I can’t answer that yet, I always like the last one the best.’

Hugo said, ‘I liked the one with the circle kitchen.’

‘That was a very,’ Hermione paused, ‘different kitchen.’

Harry and Malfoy were in a heavily wooded area, walking up to iron gates.

‘The woods?’

‘I’ve always been fond of the woods. It is connected to the Floo network, of course, as they all have been. So you can Floo straight to work. It comes with most the land you can see. I’ll show you the map of the property lines. They walked up the path that circled at the front door. The house itself wasn’t a huge manor as Hermione had expected from the gate.

‘I love it already,’ Rose said. ‘It is so cute.’

It was a small looking cottage and nothing seemed grand about it, until they opened the door. It was obvious wizard space. It was three times the size inside as it appeared outside. They could see the beams across the ceiling as though the cottage was one big room.

‘Wow,’ Harry said.

‘I knew you’d like it; it’s my dream home.’

Harry’s mouth hung opened as he looked at Malfoy, before they walked farther into the house.

‘Then why are you showing it to me?’

Malfoy ignored him and continued walking through the house pointing things out for the camera to focus on. The bedrooms, of which there were many, seemed to float about the the room each at different heights and distances from the front door. Though as Harry walked the spiral staircase to reach them they could see they were stationary. It was much like having many different loft areas inside the cottage and all connected by the same staircase.

No matter the room, even the bathroom, they could look down into the main part of the house. But there were walls and ceilings to block the view from the other rooms seeing each other. Still, the place didn’t seem to have much privacy. It was filled with the warm tones from the first house, though no furniture. As Malfoy showed him the features—most of them magical—and he explained the negatives—no television would work in that house—Harry had the same look of wonder he always had when encountering some new bit of magic.

‘So?’ Draco asked.

‘I really like it.’

‘I knew you would. You’ve always enjoyed having the things I want.’

Harry glared at Malfoy, but ignored the comment and instead asked, ‘Why hasn’t it sold?’

‘Well, the style is odd, and it isn’t cheap since it comes with so much land. Most people in this price range want a manor not a small cottage no matter how many rooms it has. Come on.’ Malfoy pulled at Harry’s sleeve. ‘Let’s go see what Pansy has done to your place. It started with much more space, she still might outdo this.’

Rose sighed. ‘He isn’t as confident in this one. Normally, he is convinced he’ll win even when it obvious he won’t.’

‘Yeah,’ Hugo said, ‘but normally all the problems with the houses get the people all angry and they just want to leave the house no matter what.’

‘How come you haven’t bought it, if it is your dream home?’

‘Well.’ Draco shrugged. ‘I’m a single gay man without any children. I don’t really need a home yet. What would I be coming home to?’

‘Yeah,’ Harry agreed, ‘yeah.’

Back at Harry’s house, Pansy just finished up staging the house. Harry didn’t have much stuff of his own and Pansy had plenty of room to work with, so it was all there scattered throughout the house to make it feel more like his own home. The first Snitch he caught was on his mantle, pictures of Rose and Hugo in the dining room, but his broom in his bedroom.

‘Are you excited?’ Draco asked.

‘A bit.’

Pansy had cleaned up the front of the house and added plants. It looked more inviting than Hermione could ever have pictured it, like a home. When Harry walked through the front door his jaw dropped again. It was, once again, an open floor plan. They weren’t cramped at the entryway. It opened into the living room with the fireplace cleaned up.

‘This can’t be the same house,’ Harry said.

Pansy smirked and Draco said, ‘Pansy has always been the best at Charms, well, and tearing things down.’

‘I always put them back together.’

They let Harry wander around the house by himself as they bickered, as always. ‘Do you find anything that can compare to this?’ Pansy gestured around her.

‘Yes, actually,’ Malfoy said. She looked smug until he added, ‘I showed him the cottage in the woods.’ Then her face looked as it had when Harry had told them they could spend whatever they wanted.

‘You didn’t.’

‘I did.’

‘He liked it?’

Malfoy rolled his eyes. ‘Of course.’

At this part the couple would talk back and forth and generally decide, but Harry had much more house to go through and no one to discuss it with. So they saw room after room, each beautiful and decorated for different purposes. Two nurseries: one for a boy and one for a girl. The same with kids rooms. She brought two rooms together to make a master suite, and added windows all along one wall of it.

Harry joined them once he’d finished exploring. ‘I think I’ve made my decision.’

Malfoy and Parkinson held each other’s hands excited and waiting.

‘This house is perfect for a family and the other is unique and perfect for a family. Every room here is holding a memory, because you did a great job of spreading my things around, but it made me see how little I really have and how I don’t need this much space.

‘Right now I don’t have a family, but I do know someone that does and two of the rooms upstairs were designed specifically for their children. So I think...I’m going to do both. I’m going to give this house to my friends, and buy the house in the woods.’

Parkinson still looked speechless, Malfoy simply smirked, and Harry added, ‘Sorry, I guess that means neither of you really won.’

‘I think it means we both won,’ Malfoy said.

Ron hadn’t been thrilled about the idea of moving until they’d seen the house. The kids loved their new, bigger much nicer rooms. He also didn’t want to accept it for free, so they traded houses. When Ron and Hermione sold theirs, Harry got the money from it.

Pansy stood outside the cottage in the woods and the words “six weeks later” were written on the screen. ‘I’m here to see how Harry Potter has settled in to his new home.’ She knocked by no one answered and after a while she got impatient. ‘I can’t believe he forgot.’

Just then the door opened, except it wasn’t Harry. It was Draco and he was only half-dressed.

‘You forgot!’ Then she looked Malfoy up and down. ‘Where are your clothes!’

‘This is live?’ Malfoy’s eyes widened and he stepped back trying to fix his hair. ‘Shite.’

Parkinson rolled her eyes. It was a stupid question. He wrote the show and knew it was live.

Ron stood up as both the kids gasped at Malfoy’s language. ‘Okay kids let’s go get some ice cream from the kitchen, yeah?’

He looked to Hermione who nodded them on and then left with the kids in tow both too excited about ice cream to care that Harry hadn’t appeared on the screen yet. And, thankfully, didn’t ask what happened with Malfoy’s clothes.

On the screen, Harry did appear a moment later...in only pants. Hermione closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. When she opened them again Malfoy had turned around pushed Harry back up the stairs for them both to get dressed. Parkinson directed the camera to look at the rooms she had decorated below with a smile plastered on her face as she waited for them to return.

But due to the nature of the house, the camera kept getting shots Harry and Draco snipping at each other and dressing in the background. They also, while filming the updates Parkinson was showing off in the kitchen including personal touches of pictures of Harry’s parents and friends, caught Harry pulling Draco into a kiss on the stairs.

Parkinson shook her head as they arrived to talk about the house and what it was like living there. Hermione couldn’t keep herself from smiling. A bowl of ice cream floated out to her and then she heard Ron whisper, though it was loud enough for the kids to hear so he really shouldn’t have bothered, ‘Is it safe yet?’

Hermione snorted. ‘It’s safe, you can come out now.’


End file.
